Do you remember when someone asked you as a child, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Your eyes would light up. Some said doctor, others pilot, artist, or writer. The dream was so clear that it felt like your entire life would walk that path.
And now? Now you wake up to the same routine. Office, home, responsibilities, bills, sleep. Days pass, months pass, years slip away. In between all this, don’t you sometimes wonder—”Wait, this isn’t who I wanted to be?”
But we don’t ask ourselves this question. Because the answer might be terrifying. We might have to admit that somewhere along the way, we took a wrong turn. And we’ve been walking that wrong path ever since.
In the chaos of busyness, this question gets buried. Because stopping to think feels like wasting time. But the real truth is—if we don’t stop, if we don’t think, we might waste our entire life.
Where We Started Walking the Wrong Path
It all begins very simply. One day, someone says, “It’s easier to get a job in this field.” Another person says, “This path offers more security.” Family says, “Your dream is fine, but first do something stable.”
And then we think—okay, security first. Dreams later. But that “later” never comes.
Sacrificing dreams in the name of security has become normal in our society. “You need to be realistic now”—this one line has changed countless lives, who knows how many.
Family, society, financial circumstances—everyone makes decisions for us. And us? We accept them. Because resistance is hard. Fighting alone is hard. So gradually, our own voice gets lost. Eventually, we don’t even know what we truly want.
Being Lost Doesn’t Mean Being Failed
We need to be clear about something here. People change. Goals change too. The boy who wanted to be a cricketer at ten might want to be a teacher at thirty. There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, it’s natural. Because as life progresses, we understand ourselves better.
But the problem arises when the change happens against our will. When we didn’t choose it, but circumstances pushed us onto a different path.
There’s a big difference here—between compromise and surrender.
Compromise means I know what I want, but it’s not entirely possible right now. So I’m starting with a little. I’ll progress gradually.
Surrender means I know what I want, but I’m not even trying anymore. I’ve given up. I’m saying—”It won’t happen. Let it be this way.”
And this surrender is what makes us lose the person inside us.
Signs That Tell You—You’re Far From Yourself
How do you know you’ve drifted away from yourself? There are some signs. Very simple, but frightening.
First, days pass, but there’s no excitement. You don’t want to get up in the morning. You can’t focus on work. When you return in the evening, you feel—nothing happened today. Tomorrow will be the same day again. Weeks, months, years like this.
Second, even your achievements don’t bring satisfaction. You got promoted, your salary increased, you bought a new car—but there’s emptiness inside. You think—”So what? Is this what I wanted?”
Third, you think more about other people’s lives. You see someone’s photo on Facebook and think, “They’re so happy. Why don’t I have something like this?” Someone on Instagram is traveling, doing something new—and you feel stuck.
Fourth, “I should have done something else”—this regret is always there. Before sleeping at night, you think, “There was so much more to do in life. But nothing got done.”
If you have these signs, then know—you’ve come very far from the person you wanted to be.
How Social Media Increases This Distance
Now a new problem has been added—social media.
Earlier, we only struggled with our own lives. Now we have to struggle with others’ shiny lives too.
Open Facebook and you see—someone’s new job, someone’s foreign trip, someone’s new business. On Instagram, everyone’s happy, beautiful. And us? We’re sitting at home, same life, same problems.
But we forget—these aren’t completely real. These are curated lives. Arranged. People share their best moments. Sadness, failure, loneliness—nobody shows these.
But we compare. And this comparison exhausts us. We keep thinking—”Why is my life so ordinary? Why can’t I do anything?”
Slowly, our own story starts feeling small. Our own achievements, our own dreams—everything seems trivial. And this is how we drift even further from ourselves.
Reality: Life Isn’t a Straight-Line Story
We need to accept a big truth here—life isn’t like a straight line.
Some people find their purpose at twenty-five. Some at forty-five. Some might realize at sixty—”Hey, this is what I wanted to do all along!”
Finding it late doesn’t mean being lost. Finding it late just means—your journey was a bit different.
And many times we think we’re lost, but actually it’s just a pause. Life needs pauses. We need to think. We need to rediscover ourselves.
A person who worked the same job for thirty years and suddenly realized—”No, this isn’t for me”—they’re not a failure. They’re brave. Because they can hear themselves.
Life has no fixed deadline. No age limit. If you realize today—”I’m on the wrong path”—then today is the time to start. Not tomorrow, not the day after—today.
The First Step to Finding Yourself Again
So now the question is—how do you get back that lost self?
The first step is very simple, but many people don’t do it. Write. Yes, take a pen and paper and write.
First, write who you want to become. Childhood dreams. Adolescent aspirations. Young adult goals. Write everything. Don’t hide anything. You don’t have to show anyone. Just for yourself.
Then, on a separate page, write what you want now. Right now, at this moment, what does life mean to you? What would make you happy? What work do you enjoy? What words move your heart?
Compare these two lists. You might see that many things have changed. What you wanted before, you don’t want anymore. That’s okay. But look at the essence. Look at the core melody.
Say you wanted to be a doctor as a child. You don’t want that anymore. But thinking about it—you actually wanted to serve people. Then now you can do that service work differently. You can teach. You can do social work. You can volunteer.
The key point is—hold onto the essence of the dream, not the exact form.
Big Reconstruction Through Small Steps
Now, many will think—”Okay, I understand. But now I have a job, family, and responsibilities. I can’t just drop everything and start fresh!”
Absolutely right. And you don’t have to.
You don’t need to change everything in life at once. Rather, take small steps. Gradually.
Keep thirty minutes a week for yourself. Just thirty minutes. During this time, do the work you love. Drawing, writing, listening to music, learning something new—whatever you want.
Do small, creative, or curiosity-driven tasks. For example, say you loved writing. Then write one small piece every week. You can write without showing anyone. Just for yourself. Or you love plants? Then plant something in a small pot. Watch how it grows.
These are very small things. But these small tasks bring you back to yourself.
And most importantly, have honest conversations with yourself. Ask yourself once every day—”How did today feel? Am I happy? Do I feel like I’m on the right path?”
These small questions, small steps—these bring big changes one day.
Fear Is the Real Obstacle
By now, you might be thinking, “Yes, all this is fine. But can I actually do it?”
This is where the real obstacle comes—fear.
“There’s no time left now.” This is the biggest fear. You feel like you’re too old. You can’t start fresh now. But this is false. Someone started a new business at forty-five. Someone started a new education at fifty. Even at sixty, people have started new lives. There’s time. There always is.
“What will people say?” This fear is very strong in our society. But honestly, people will talk for a few days, then forget. They’re busy with their own lives. Your life is yours. If you don’t live your own way, those people won’t come and live your life for you. Isn’t that right?
“What if I fail?” This fear is also very natural. But think about it—if you don’t try, failure is certain. If you try, at least there’sa possibility. And failure doesn’t mean the end. Failure means learning. Doing better next time.
These fears hold you back. These fears build a wall between you and that lost person inside.
But remember—fear will always be there. Brave doesn’t mean no fear. Brave means moving forward despite fear.
The Lost Person Is Still Inside You
The final word is—the person you wanted to become hasn’t disappeared. They haven’t gone anywhere.
They’re still inside you. Just silent. Waiting.
Sometimes at night before sleeping, when silence descends, do you hear a whisper? “You didn’t want this. You wanted something else.” That’s the voice of that person. Your true self.
They will return. But not in one day. Gradually. Little by little.
Every small step, every honest conversation, every task done for yourself—through all these, they’ll come back.
You don’t need special permission to restart your life. You don’t have to wait for the new year. You don’t need clearance from anyone.
You just need to make one decision—”I will return to myself.”
And then one small step. Then another. Then another.
The person you wanted to become—they haven’t gone anywhere. They’re just waiting for your call.
Now is the time to call. Now is the time to return to yourself.
And remember—it’s never too late. As long as you’re alive, there’s a possibility. There’s hope. You can start fresh.
So why wait? Start today. Talk to yourself. Set out to find yourself.
Because that person—who you truly are—is still waiting.
